Just because she slept with you, doesn’t mean she wants to stick around. So how can you make her see you as more than just a guy she slept with?
Imagine you’ve met this stunning girl at a party, you’ve both had a few drinks, and in a whirlwind of passion and lust, you go home together. You wake up the next morning, realize that you really like this girl and would like to see her again.
What can you do to make sure you are almost guaranteeing that she will come back for more? There’s nothing worse than having a fun night with an absolutely gorgeous woman, and then after the morning, realizing that you’re never going to see her again, even though you want to…
How to make her more than just a one night stand
Here are a few things you can do to ensure you won’t let this once in a lifetime woman slip out from under you.
#1 Remember her name.
It’s going to be awkward if you don’t. Personally, I am terrible at remembering names when I first meet people, but you can always make an effort. Call her by name a couple of times after she first tells you, that way you won’t forget. [Read: Is it easy or sleazy to date a one night stand?]
If you do forget, and she asks you, the best way around it is to smirk and say something silly like, “It’s Sebastian, isn’t it?” She will hit you, giggle, and tell you her real name. She doesn’t know if you actually forgot or if you were just messing around, so she won’t be offended.
If she doesn’t ask, have her put her number in your phone. Give it to her blank, and she will likely enter her name as well as her number. You can be forgiven slightly for forgetting if you were blackout drunk, but I don’t recommend that either… [Read: 40 worst things to say to a woman before getting it on]
#2 Don’t drink too much.
For any number of reasons. It helps to remember what you did and talked about the night before. It also helps to have better sex. It helps to not make an idiot out of yourself. It helps to remember her name. It helps to be less hungover and in a better mood in the morning.
Typically, if you are totally wasted, she will be too. Drunk people tend to annoy sober people quite quickly. If you’re both just on the verge of tipsy where conversations flow freely and uninhibitedly, you are more likely to hit it off personality-wise.
#3 Have great sex.
This is a given. She isn’t going to come back if the sex was rubbish. Of course, sometimes sex is forgettable if you have had too much to drink…
No problem, just go again in the morning, and you will both enjoy it more. Having sex in the morning will also make her more likely to see you again. You will no longer just be “the guy I had sex with when I was wasted.” She chose to have sex with you again while sober, which will set a precedent going forwards. [Read: 12 subtle cues girls look for to know if a guy will be amazing in bed]
#4 Talk about other stuff – get to know each other.
Build a bit of a connection, and see if you can get along if sex isn’t on the menu. If you do, the chances of meeting up again will increase.
Chat about whatever you want, but the more you actually get to know one another, the better positioned you are to decide whether you want to see each other again. It might turn out you don’t actually get along very well!
If you do, then she knows that you have something to talk about and will be comfortable with each other in the future. If all that you can offer is sex, a lot of women won’t be interested, and will write it off as a drunken mistake. If she likes you in some further capacity, then she will be happy to meet up and hang out again.
#5 Hang out in the morning if possible.
Obviously, this depends on whether either of you have to run out the door to work or not. If you don’t, spend some time together. Have breakfast or a coffee and chat, get to know each other, and see how you get along. You can even spend the day in bed again!
This will leave her feeling like you know each other and that it is completely natural to meet up again. If you just have sex and leave, then there really is very little binding you together, and she may not be inclined to see you again.
It’s also an opportunity to make future plans without seeming too needy. If you have spent some time together, conversation will flow, and there will always be a point where you can naturally say “I’ll show you this” or “I’ll take you there” for some time in the future.
#6 Kick her out nicely if you need to.
Sometimes, you just have to dash and can’t spend any time together in the morning. Try and kick her out or leave her place in as nice a way as possible. Women tend to feel a bit of guilt over one night stands, fearing being judged by other people. You don’t want to make this the case by her thinking you’re an ass.
If you’re at your place, give her plenty of notice that you need to go, and respectfully escort her out. If you’re at hers, let her know in advance that you will need to leave soon to go to work *or wherever*, but you wish you could stay. Don’t just bolt out the door and leave her with the feeling that you couldn’t get away quick enough.
#7 Be respectful towards her, and treat her like you will see her again.
Be nice to her, and she is more likely to see you again, obviously! Also, drop things in like “next time…”, as this sets the cogs moving in her mind that you will see each other again. If she needs to borrow a t-shirt or anything like that, lend it to her. It shows that you care about her and will want to see her again to get it back.
#8 Get her number!
This is almost too obvious, but I have failed to do this on more than one occasion.
Especially when in a rush to leave to get to work, or when I’m hungover, and she leaves my place in something of a rush herself, I just curl up and go back to sleep.
Take her number, preferably not as one of you is walking out the door. You’re not going to see her again if you can’t contact her!
#9 Follow up afterwards.
Follow on from a conversation that you already had. Maybe about what you are each respectively doing that day. This way, you are just engaging in a normal conversation that again makes it like you are more than just two random people who bumped uglies. If she is responsive, she is more than likely interested in seeing you again. [Read: The dreaded after sex call – do’s and don’ts]
#10 Don’t come across as needy, but make sure she knows you’re interested.
Let her know that you want to see her again without being too desperate. You don’t need to hang out the following night, or even make plans in the first few days. Make plans to see her again like you would any other girl that you were dating or sleeping with or whatever.